What do you do?

How do you know what kind of person you are?

Is it based on what other people's opinion of you? Is it based on the opinion you have of yourself?

When you're faced with a challenge of changing who you are to others, in order to improve your life. How far are you willing to go? How far SHOULD you be willing to go?

At what point do you think you should say, "Hey... ya know what? THIS is who I am. THIS is what I do.... I don't think I should have to exhaust myself to get you to see me a certain way."

I feel like I do a lot. But evidently it's not enough.... Since I hardly get a "pat on the back" for it.

There's just one thing it seems you have to measure up to.... Which makes perfect sense. BUT am I that person who is willing to sacrifice who I am to reach a certain expectation?

I think that once you become a grown up... you have to learn to make certain sacrifices. I also think these sacrifice's should come in the form of a COMPROMISE.

You shouldn't ask someone to change who they are. You should find a way to meet them halfway.... BECAUSE maybe... just maybe... who they ARE could be a BIG strength for you.

Oh and it doesn't hurt to recognize all the things they do for you.... Instead of just assuming those things will just "keep happening".

ANNNNNNNND I'm stepping off the soap box.

Thank you.

XXXX

Joshua

The Process of NOT changing your life.

Well, my friends... loyal readers... people with nothing better to do.

I was not the candidate they were looking for with the SoHo gig.

I'm ok with it.... It's one of those things that the longer you wait to hear back, the less interested you become in the position. (Of course it sucks that I didn't get it.) But you get to the point where you start thinking of other positions that you want instead. Ones with more money and opportunity... that don't require you to move halfway across the country to a city you've never even visited.

So, no Big Apple for me yet.... It will happen though. I'm gonna beef up the ol' resume and make myself impossible to turn down.

In the mean time, I just got back from a trip to OKC. HAD A GREAT TIME!

The last time I was there it was Drag-Fest 2009... nonstop makeup, rehearsal and performing.

This trip I actually got to breathe and spend a little time with friends.

I found out that this artist that used me as his muse for this transformation series sold out of all the artwork he did of me!

Don't worry, they weren't nudes.... if they were, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have sold a single one.... Unless Richard Simmons were there.....

One of my best friends Jeska asked me to be her Best Man at her wedding. I said Yes.

Annnnnnnnnd that's about it for now.

I think I might go get my ears gaged today.... Might also get a cat.... and maybe another tattoo.

meh.

XXXX

Joshua

Still.

Waiting.

Anticipating.

Worrying.

Planning.

Thinking... over thinking.

Hoping.

Sleeping.

Ticking.

Freaking.

Mincing.

Chomping.

Wishing.

Meditating.