Waiting.

Oh, the holidays.

What a wonderful time of year.

I have the supreme privilege to work at a mall during this festive season. Not just any mall. THE mall of Dallas.

I get to drive around the parking lot for 20 minutes trying to find a spot to park... which usually ends up being on the 6th floor of the parking garage- on the OPPOSITE side of the mall from the store I work.

After that, I get to hike across the heaps of rude people who don't understand that a mall hallway is much like a road. YOU STAY TO THE RIGHT... you wouldn't drive your car into oncoming traffic would you?

Next comes my store. It stays busy most the time (that isn't the problem.) The problem is that amongst all the Christmas hustle and bustle there is still THAT lady that needs a whole new face. Nevermind that there are 50 other people all striving for your help. Nevermind that there are no appointments available. NEVERMIND THAT YOU JUST DEALT WITH 5 OTHER PEOPLE THAT WERE EXACTLY LIKE HER.

But alas, says my ass, there was a lady named Marsha that changed my opinion on little old ladies in holiday sweaters. Whilst our store was blaring our Holiday Musak. Whilst people are bumping each other left and right. Whilst, Whilst and Whilst. Marsha had pulled me through the madness to help her with the "fatty tissue" under her eye.

My thought: " Madam, those are called bags. Face it."

Good thing I didn't speak too soon. (Not that I EVER would have actually said that.) Marsha went on to tell me that she was 65 years old.

I said,of course:" Well, I do declare Miss Marsha! I reckoned you weren't a day over 35!" (In those words more or less.... I just thought the statement could use a southern twist.)

She then told me she had the best legs out of anyone in the whole store.... Then retracted: The best legs in Texas!

She had me at "Best legs in texas."

As the makeup application continued she went on to say she doesn't believe in presents at Christmas, that in Ireland I would be called a Ginger and that she can crack walnuts with her teeth.

I suspected that she began to pick up on the-me-being-gay-thing.... Because after I told her my background is in theatrical makeup ( Oh, that's my way of saying I learned makeup from being a drag queen.... without having to actually say it. Get it?) AFTER I told her my background in "theatrical makeup" she immediately started using words like:

Fabulous.

Stunning.

Glamorous.

Miss Thing.

Ferocia.

Tops.

Bottoms.

The "t".

Miss Girl.

Lady.

Boots.

The House.

Cunty Fierce.

...ok maybe she didn't use most of those words... The point is that she had that extra flick of the hand and twinkle in her eye from that point on.

As we wrapped things up she shifted into a very serious posture. Lightly placed her hand on mine and looked me straight in the eye.

"Joshua," she said " I want you to know that you should never let what people think of you get you down. I am SIXTY FIVE damn years old and I could WHIP ANYBODIES ASS if I wanted to. I have lived this long with that as my motto and I'll live another 65 years saying the same damn thing." Then she finished it off with- "You just sit on THAT one for a while."

I consider that to be my gift for the holidays this year. Not the encouraging words from the little old lady about being yourself. BUT the fact that that little old lady told a 27 year old gay guy to " SIT on THAT for a while."

Just kidding. It really was the encouraging part that was the "gift". Not the pervy sitting on it thing.

The point of the story is that you should keep your eyes open to everything around you this holiday season. Love is in the air but it's easy to overlook it when your caught in the hype.

XXXX

Joshua

Disclaimer: I love my job and all the people I deal with on a daily basis. Any negative slant in this story was purely to carry the story and set the mood.

NEW YORK UPDATE: The interview went well. It was short and sweet and I'll hear back in about a week.

Today is the INTERVIEW!

Jai guru deva Ommmmmmmmm.

SO at 5:30 today I am interviewing for the position in the 212! (Area code in New York.)

I'm not really that nervous. Just really excited.... diarrhea excited. Gross.

This little girl is pretty excited too....she better be careful with all that white.

Get it? Because when you get really excited you might shit a little.... every thing's white.

Do I need to draw a picture of it????

I got plenty of sleep.... Haven't been out in a couple of days so my mind is nice and sober/hangover free.

Gonna watch a couple New Yorkie movies.... Maybe Home Alone 2.... Sex and the City.... Will and Grace.... I dunno.

Today's playlist:

It's Amazing- Jem

Born to Fly- Sara Evans

New York City Boy- Pet Shop Boys

Empire State of Mind (part 2)- Alicia Keys

Changes- Butterfly Boucher and David Bowie

Ready to Run- Dixie Chicks

Speakerphone (live from NEW YORK)- Kylie Minogue

You'll Find a Way- Santigold

Theme from NEw York, New York- Frank Sinatra

I Believe in You ( live from New York0 - Kylie Minogue

Cruz - Christina Aguilera

Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z and Alicia Keys

New York Girls - Morningwood

Border Girl - Paulina Rubio

Feel free to add some jams to this lot if you can think of some. They have to be about New York, making a change or recorded in New York.

I'll post another blog-blog later to let everyone know how the interview went.

Esca-LATER!

XXXX,

Joshua

Trying not to be negative

Soooooo... I get a call this morning that I wasn't expecting for a couple of days.

It was the retail manager from the MAC counter in Bloomingdale's. She gave me a list of about 5 things that I need to get together and send to her by monday.

I freaked a little.

But being the resilient master mind that I am... ;) ;) I whipped everything together to send her way.

The beauty part is: She isn't really expecting me to send anything to her for a couple days. Little does she know I have my entire package typed up, wire bound and in the mail by Fedex Overnight as we speak.... or should I say as I type.

Here's a little snippet of what I sent her:

I believe that it’s a privilege to work for a company who’s mission is to be the leading authority amongst both the consumer and the professional makeup artist. MAC is the cosmetic front runner in the world of fashion. It’s also the ultimate example of diversity in the makeup world. In my eyes, New york is very much the same. To be a representative for a company thriving in the city that directly mirrors it’s very essence would be one of the greatest opportunities of my life.

Sorry it's in small font.... just get some tiny glasses out so you can read it. Whaddaya think?

I'm trying to not have any negative energy right now. BUT the people that I went to at Fedex/Kinkos can all take a lesson in customer service.

I've been there TWICE now and both times got the same crew of losers that HAVE NO CLUE how to control their facial expressions, body language or choice of words when speaking to someone who's about to drop 60 bones on PAPER AND INK!

But alas, I'm not getting my ass on a plane to hand deliver the stuff... so. whatev.

Anyhow.... I was under the impression that this interview process was going to take a few weeks to a month. But it seems to me now that it might only take a couple.

FINGERS CROSSED, by next Tuesday my interview should be scheduled.

For now, I'm off to do a goodbye drag show for my buddy Vanessa Raye.

Later tot.

Me and Vanessa

XXXX

-Joshua

Step off.

Ok. Here's the deal pickle.

I'm originally from a town in Arkansas called Pine Bluff. It's a river bottom farm town... lots of hay and cows and REALLY tall trees. When I was a baby we moved to Durant, Oklahoma... small, country and VERY Oklahoman. Did a little hop-skip-jump from there to Shawnee, Oklahoma. Which is ALSO very Oklahoman... meaning it was a pretty big deal to make a trip to the "big city" (OKC) to go to the BIG mall... you know, the kind that has a McDonald's INSIDE! WHAAAAAAAA??????

After my family conquered the carnies of Durant and Shawnee they had the inspiration to move to Moore, Oklahoma. If you want an idea of what you're dealing with in Moore, I invite you to check out the website www.PeopleofWalmart.com . Gu'head, give 'er a look-see!

I believe that explains it.

When I was 18 years old I came out of the closet to my family and moved STRAIGHT (no pun intended) to the BIG BIG city of Oklahoma City.

I remember even as a kid I longed to live downtown where the "big buildings" were. No matter where we travled in the United States I always wanted to see the "big buildings"... for me it was almost like an amusement park. Which was good for my parents, I suppose. Cheap Entertainment.

I guess I always knew that I wanted to be in the center of big city life.... Small towns always made me uncomfortable and to this day- suburbs give me the creeps.

Puttered around, grasping for my footing in OKC... I worked in restaurants for a while.... Odd jobs at Call Centers here and there.... Also did drag shows betwixt all the random shit jobs I had. That's when I realized I wanted to work for MAC.

It's the only makeup I used and I really loved all the people I would buy it from at Dillard's Penn Square. So applied.

And applied.

And applied.

Applied.

App....lied.

I think they got sick of me always filling out applications and added me to the staff.

A few short months later I felt it was time to shit or get off the pot. I had spent plenty of time being miserable in Oklahoma City... I didn't have anything tying me down except that I wouldn't get to see my family much. SO, with MAC as my employer I set my sights on Dallas, Texas.

Ohhhhhh what a journey that was. I won't write out all the details now... but it was a very bumpy, very rocky experience.

What's funny is that now... after 2 and a half years, I'm ready to do it all again.

THIS time I'm aiming for the Big Apple. New York City.

I've posted for a position at Bloomingdale's in Soho. It's the same thing that I'm doing now, just at a smaller location. I'm using this blog to write about what I'm going through as I set up for the interview process. You'll know first hand what I do to prep for the interview as well as the actual interview itself.... Hopefully I'll get the job and you can read about THAT too. (Because if I DON'T get it, I'll be reaaaaaaal embarrassed.)

After that I'll document my move to New York and my new experiences etc.

Consider it blogged.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

XO -Joshua